So I took another before picture.... and posted it live.

Putting a sneaky few kilos on since Christmas isn't a big deal for most people.  I am not most people. I am the most stubborn person I know who gets super annoyed when things don't go my way (Aries much?), and that includes being relaxed on my healthy lifestyle.  Yes I am harsh on myself, that is something I deal with on a daily basis. But am slowly learning to just accept things and not stress.  I have always been a fitness fanatic and major stress head.


I like a challenge. 


So, my before photo looks pretty good. I am not fat. I am just a little softer than I would like to be. I still love training, I am still strong and have increased my weights in the gym, I have also relaxed a little with my nutrition (instead of 90/10 rule, more like the 70/30 rule) and finding my jeans a little snug. tight.


I like to think I am invincible some days. If I get too relaxed with my eating I get wider. OK when I say eating, I mean wine. I do love a glass or five & sometimes that is nice with cheese (I am human, right?). There is that voice in my head that tells me, you know what you need to do to keep the weight off and you know you CAN do it... but I just say yeah yeah and drown her out with another vino.  


LIFE FOR ME HAS CHANGED.


So lighten up I hear you say. Trust me I am telling myself the same thing. Easy to say it, but I have a new excuse, one that I haven't had for years... I have found love. It has been many (like seriously many) years since I have told a boy I love them.  I am enjoying the quiet nights in with company, or as I refer to him "the boy". As much as I love "smashing it out in the gym",  I enjoy not being the "fitness freak" all the time and it is nice just to relax and just let life be awesome, to be loved, and love someone back.  


The boy and I have planned a trip in winter, to Thailand. So of course the first thing that pops into my head is BIKINI.  Such a girl, I know.  Of course I am excited about the FIRST big overseas holiday with my boy and staying in gorgeous 5-star resorts and just having a ball, but in the back of this normal girl's mind is BEACH = BIKINI. Of course the boy love me just the way I am (flashback to Mr Darcy comments from Bridget Jones) but I also guarantee you one thing, he won't be complaining :) 


So another challenge has been set.  This is Week 1. Not that I am a big scale person but to keep me accountable and on track I have weighed myself and need to lose approx 8kgs.  The 5kgs I have put back on since October last year and another 3kgs for good measure.  Have dexascan booked so would love the bodyfat to be reduced and more muscle to put on.


So far the scales show I have lost 1.8kg this week. F A B U L O U S!
Have been feeling very frustrated due to my knees playing up (I know, again). So lots of physio appts, gym rehab and massages to ensure the little feckers are strong (and the muscles adjoining are strengthened and switching on properly to stabilise and support each other) I will be ramping up my training.


SO, life doesn't always take you on the smooth path, speed bumps & hurdles  will always appear (and good ones).  So now it is a time to re-connect with myself, to just be still and say thanks, for letting my life be awesome. To have awesome people in my life. TO be loved by family and friends and most importantly, myself.  


BEFORE PICTURE - taken Tuesday 24 April 2012.

 My last picture I took - much leaner.

My biggest hurdle, is me.

I have always strived to be the best at everything I do. In the past I used to set goals TOO HIGH for myself and wonder why "I failed".  Putting uncesseary hurdles in the way. I have since learnt that setting smaller realistic goals are the stepping stones to the BIG goals and if along the way the path changes, so be it, I would of still achieved goals set.

Last year I decided I wanted to compete, stand on stage and enter a BB competition.  I have changed my mind.  I might decide later on down the track that I want to do it and will address it then if it does indeed pop back into my head.  The biggest challenge for me was being comfortable with my decision that I didn't want to compete anymore, I hadn't failed myself or anyone else, I had simply changed my path and I tell you what, it felt good, I felt in control & don't have to prove myself to anyone.

I still have my goals, I still challenge myself daily body mentally and physically and I love that I can change the stepping stones along the way, because you know what, it is my path and I cannot wait to see where it takes me!