Monday, October 15, 2012

4.5 weeks (32 days) until next dexascan.....

I am not sure why these last few weeks I haven't been as motivated to shed the pounds as I once had been...  I am still enjoying my healthy lifestyle - training weekly and eating good healthy foods, but I am also enjoying the fact that I don't worry about my weight or weighing myself everyday.  Yes I can be a lot LEANER and fitter... but for some reason I am purely happy with myself at the moment.  

Amazing how life changes and you are just content, I love lazy sleep ins now with my boy on a Sunday instead of rushing off to do a triple class, I love having vino and some gorgeous cheese and crackers on a Friday night, or a nice pub lunch on a Saturday ... it is all about choices, I know that I eat healthy 80% of the time and I also know that it is the other 20% stopping me from reaching my goals.... but in all honesty I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. Yes I do look in the mirror and think, gosh I need to get rid of that excess bodyfat, but I don't obsess and stress, and you know the biggest thing - I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF ME. I DO NOT CARE. MY GOALS ARE MINE. I HAVEN'T FAILED IN MY EYES AND THEY ARE THE ONLY EYES THAT COUNT.

I know people say and I used to be one of them "if it was easy we all would do it", well it isn't easy at all and if you have to fight that inner demon all the time, is it something you really want?  You have to truly ask, "who exactly will I be letting down here?".  If it is yourself, then you have to just dust yourself off and keep going, challenging yourself everyday.

I love that I am not perfect, I love my little flaws, because they are ME.  I am the best version of me I can be everyday, I strive to improve myself everyday in little ways, both physically & mentally.  I love learning new things about my body & mind - and I know I will get the results I want from the next dexascan as I can feel the progress in my body - I feel stronger, fitter and let's hope leaner (bodyfat wise) and more muscle!!


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